12-step Promises

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

A Better Way of Life

Author Unknown

I sat trembling as I listened
To the words that were spoken to me.
It seemed I had broken all the rules,
So blinded I failed to see.

The power, that had weakened me,
Led me on a sinful course.
For, now, I found myself frozen
And reeling from great remorse.

Flashbacks, of a life I had led,
Haunted the depth of my soul;
Laws that I recklessly squandered,
While acting out various roles.

This monster, who had promised me
That my life would be rich with fun,
Had taught me how to turn my back
And how my Lord to shun.

Satan is the name that visited,
Stripping the love from my heart~
Until God's presence granted me
Forgiveness and a brand new start!
He told me that His love for us
Will never bend or weaken
And that forgiveness is always granted
When we listen while He is speaking.

Rational Behaviors to Overcome Perfectionistic Tendencies

To overcome perfectionism one needs to:

• Accept self as a human being
• Forgive self for mistakes or failings
• Put self back on the wagon immediately after falling off
• Accept that the "ideal" is only a guideline or goal to be worked toward, not to be achieved 100%
• Set realistic and flexible time frames for the achievement of a goal
• Develop a sense of patience and to reduce the need to "get it done yesterday"
• Be easier on oneself; setting unrealistic or unreasonable goals or deadlines sets you up for failure.
• Recognize that the human condition is one of the failings, weakness, deviations, imperfections, and mistakes; it is acceptable to be human
• Recognize that one's backsliding does not mean the end of the world, it is okay to pick oneself up and start all over again
• Develop an ability to use "thought stopping" techniques whenever you find yourself mentally scolding yourself for not being "good enough"
• Visualize reality as it will be for a "Human" rather than for a "Super Human"
• Learn to accept yourself the way you are, let go of the ideas of how you "should be"
• Enjoy success and achievement with a healthy self-pride, and eliminate the need for self deprecation or false humility
• Learn to enjoy success without the need to second guess your ability to sustain the achievement
• Reward yourself for your progress
• Love yourself
• Eliminate unrealistic expectations and the idea that you are infallible
• Visualize yourself as "winning" even when it takes more energy and more perseverance than you had planned
• Let go of rigid, moralistic judgements of your performance and develop an open, compassionate understanding for the hard times, obstacles, and temptations.
• Be flexible in setting goals and be willing to reassess your plan from time to time to keep things realistic
• Be open to the idea that you will be successful in your efforts to change, even if you are not "first" "the best" "the model" "the star pupil" "the exemplar" "the finest"
• Realize that the important thing is to be going in a positive direction

A Better Way of Life

I sat trembling as I listened
To the words that were spoken to me.
It seemed I had broken all the rules,
So blinded I failed to see.

The power, that had weakened me,
Led me on a sinful course.
For, now, I found myself frozen
And reeling from great remorse.

Flashbacks, of a life I had led,
Haunted the depth of my soul;
Laws that I recklessly squandered,
While acting out various roles.

This monster, who had promised me
That my life would be rich with fun,
Had taught me how to turn my back
And how my Lord to shun.

Satan is the name that visited,
Stripping the love from my heart~
Until God's presence granted me
Forgiveness and a brand new start!
He told me that His love for us
Will never bend or weaken
And that forgiveness is always granted
When we listen while He is speaking!
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Sorry that it has taken me so long to get a new post up. I have been extremely busy with school and work but have decided to make sure I am taking the time to do things helpful to my recovery. I hope that everyone will continue to find this blog inspirational in times when they are struggling.

Quote

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."

- John Powell

Stage Coach Drivers

It seems that back in the old days, a stage coach company was advertising to hire a new stage coach driver. Three applicants had been selected for interviews. Each was asked the same question: "How close to the edge of the cliff can you drive and still be safe?" The first man said: "I am such a good driver that I can drive within one inch of the edge and still be safe." Not to be outdone, the second man answered: "I am such a good driver that I can drive with half the wheel over the edge and the other half of the wheel on the ground and still be safe." The third man's answer differed radically from the other two. He simply said: "I don't know how close I can safely drive near the edge of the cliff - I always stay as far away from the edge as possible." The third man got the job.

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I think that in our eating disorders we all try and get as close to the edge of the cliff as we possibly can without having our dietitians, therapists, medical doctors, etc feel that we are no longer safe. As tempting as it can be to hang on to the little pieces of our eating disorders that bring us feelings of comfort (keeping us close to the edge) I think that it is so important to try and let go of all of the little behaviors so that we can keep ourselves safe and healthy and set ourselves up for a successful life.

A Memo From God

Date: Today
To: You
From: God
Subject: Yourself
Reference: You're Life

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in a SFGTD(Something For God To DO)box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the Box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes you may need to make in your life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill my promise to you and to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I do not apologize for any inconvience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you.

I know that I already gave 10 commandments. Keep them. But follow these guidelines, also.

1. Quit Worrying

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. Put it on the list

If something needs to be done or get taken care of, put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let Me be the one to take care of the problem. I can't hlep you until you turn it over to me. And although my to-do-list is long, I am after all, God. I can take care of anything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize!

Love,

God
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I think that it's art time everyone. We should all create a God box so that we have something that we can toss our worries into when we just need to let go. I think that I might stop by Michaels sometime this week to buy a box to paint. I am kinda excited, I won't lie.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. In each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand...one belonged to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene had flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints and noticed that many times along the path, that there were only one set of footprints in the sand.

He also noticed that this happened during his lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord, "God, you said that once I decided to follow You, You would walk all the way with me. But I noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You the most, You deserted me."

The Lord replied, "My precious child, I love you, and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried You."

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I know that everyone has probably already seen this but I really felt like I needed to post it for myself right now. It is so easy for me to feel alone and resentful of my heavenly father when I am struggling. Just last night I found myself so frustrated. Why isn't he helping me overcome this?....Why is he not here for me when I am struggling?.....Haven't I dealt with this long enough? Thoughts kept flooding into my head.

Then I thought about something that Michelle(my therapist) said to me one time. When you are struggling, maybe it's not satan trying to ruin your life but rather your heavenly father trying to get you to dig deeper so that you can learn a new lesson. I guess my goal today is to figure out what exactly I need to learn. What do I need to learn about myself, life, relationships, spirituality, etc to be able to really let this eating disorder go?

I am going to try and really trust that the times that I feel so lonely and scared, my heavenly father is carrying me. He is there with me every step of the way. He will not let me fall. He will hold me until I am able to once again walk on my own.

Things to Remember Every Day

• I have the right to be treated with dignity, compassion, and respect at all times.
• I have the right to make my own decisions about the course of my life.
• I have to right to have dreams-and to work toward making these dreams come true.
• I have the right to feel good about myself as a person.
• I have the right to choose who will be my friends, whom I will spend time with, and whom I will confide in.
• I have the right to make mistakes.
• I have the right to change my mind.
• I have the right to be happy.
• I have the right to ask for what I want.
• I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
• I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive and negative.
• I have the right to say no.
• I have the right to determine my own priorities.
• I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
• I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
• I have the right to be in a non abusive environment.
• I have the right to change and grow.
• I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
• I have the right to be uniquely myself.

I Wouldn't Try To Be So Perfect

The following was written years ago by an 85 year old man who learned he was dying......

If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn't try to be so perfect. We all have perfection fetishes. What difference does it make if you let people know you are imperfect? They can identify with you then. Nobody can identify with perfection.

I would relax more. I'd limber up. I'd be sillier than I've ever been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously. I'd be crazier. I'd be less hygienic. I'd take more chances. I'd watch more sunsets. I'd go more places I've never seen. I'd eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I'd have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I was one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it all do all over again, I'd have more of those moments. In fact, I'd try to have nothing but beautiful moments moment by moment by moment. In case you didn't know it, that's the stuff that life is made of--only moments. Don't miss the now. I've been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter next time.

If I had it to do all over again, I'd start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I'd ride more merry-go-rounds, I'd watch more sunrises, and I'd play with more children. If I had to do it all over again...but you see, I don't.

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Okay, random and completely un-inspirational comment about the above....Why on earth would he live less hygienically? Maybe I am just having an OCD day because I agree with everything but that little comment!

You are all amazing!

Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1. I walk down a street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's my fault.

Chapter 2. I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's not my fault.

Chapter 3. I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4. I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5. I walk down a different street.
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It can get really exhausting falling into holes and always having to climb out. I think many of us get so stuck in the familiarity that we get a false sense of comfort in walking down the same street. It's time to take a huge step and at least check out the other street. If your not ready to walk down it, at least go take a look and see the great things that it could bring! We are worth it!

Hope

When you need some help
To get through the day;
When you need a whole lot less
To concern you,
and a whole lot more
To smile about.....

It really is going to be okay.
You're going to make it
Through this day.
Even if it's one step at a time.

Sometimes you just have to be
Patient and brave and strong.
If you don't know how, just
Make it up as you go along,
And hold on to your hope as though
It were a path to follow
Or a song to sing.

Because if you have hope,
You have everything.

-Collin McCarty

24 Things to Always Remember and One Thing to Never Forget

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot.....goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people....together.

Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.

And don't ever forget.......
for even a moment........
how very special you are!

-Colin McCarty

You Are Worthy

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do not give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love;

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;

In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Do not dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;

To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

The 5 Truths

While reading Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway I came across 5 truths that were listed.

1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out.....and do it.
4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

As repetitive as I feel some of those are, I think that they are very true. Without going out and facing our fears head on we are living such a miserable and often lonely life.

Right now I am facing many of my fears by letting go of my eating disorder. Many times I wonder why I am doing it. I feel so scared, so out of control. If I look at it logically I remember that with time the fear will disappear and I will be able to live the life that I want so badly. If we commit to facing our fears, eventually they will subside. We will be able to have what we have longed for.

Quotes

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

-Thomas Alva Edison

Nobody trips over big rocks or mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

-Unknown

I often wonder whether or not I would be "recovered" if I had not given up so many times in the past. I think that it is very important to remember that the next time we feel like giving up, we may be closer than we think. So often we get discouraged because of the set backs that we encounter even though they are a natural part of recovery. Let's accept our mistakes, learn from them and cross that mountain.

Respect Your Body

Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect realistically to squeeze into a size six, it is equally futile(and uncomfortable) to have a similar expectation about body size. Respect your body so you can feel better about who you are. It's hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical of your body shape.

-From Intuitive Eating

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

There are two days in every week that we should not worry about....two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One is Yesterday with it's mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a certain act or take back a word we've said -YESTERDAY IS GONE!

The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow with its impossible adversaries, its burdens, its hopeful promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow's sun will either rise in splendor or hide behind a mask of clouds, but will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unknown.

This leaves only one day -TODAY! Any person can fight the battle for just one day (or one hour, minute, second) It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. The sadness comes not from the experience of today but the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
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I think that it is so important for all of us to learn to stay in the moment. I know that if I am taking life one step at a time, eating one meal at a time, facing my fears one second at a time I am much more successful in living my daily life. It is when I start to think about the fact that I have to eat another 2 meals today or start school full time again at the end of this month that out of fear I want to shut down and give up everything that I have worked so hard for. It's definitely not easy to learn to take things step by step but I truly believe that if we start to do so, we will all be able to make so much progress and let go of so much of the fear that we hold inside. Living in the present is something that I know we can all do, it just takes lots and lots of practice!

If I Were Brave

Can you imagine the amazing things we could be doing if we let go of fear? I have listened to this song on and off for the last couple of years and it always gets me thinking....What would I be doing with my life right now if I were brave?



I think that we should all take a second and reflect on that! Where in our lives would we be? Would we feel more at peace? Would we be moving towards our dreams? The fear that we cling to is nothing but our eating disorders trying desperately to hold us back. We can do this girls. We are worth it!

A Little Bit Brave

This is a story of a 4 year old boy told by his father:

Having been potty-trained and taught how to use the potty by himself at night, the 4 year old little boy was learning independence and how to be a grown-up. One night the little boy standing in the dark hallway outside of the bathroom started calling out for his Daddy. His Daddy went to him and asked what’s wrong, “You know how to go potty by yourself,” he said. The little boy responded, “I’m a little bit brave of the dark, and I’m a little bit scared of the dark.”

Isn’t that true of all of us? We are all a little bit brave and a little bit scared. In recovery. Recovered. As clinicians. As grown-ups. As 4 year old little boys and girls. We are at once confident and afraid. The expectation to be “all brave” is paralyzing. It’s OK to be both scared and brave as we move through the darkness. Yes, we might wet our pants along the way. Yet we can choose to keep moving.

Start With Yourself

When I was young and free, my imagination had no limits.

I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser,

I discovered the world would not change.

So I shortened my sights somewhat

and decided to change only my country.

But it, too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years,

in one desperate attempt,

I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me,

but alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lie on my deathbed,

I suddenly realize:

If only I had changed myself first,

then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement,

I would have been able to better my country and, who knows,

I may have even changed the world.

By: Unknown

Don't Ever

Don't ever try to understand everything, some things will just never make sense.

Don't ever be reluctant to show your feelings, when you're happy give in to it. When you are not, live with it.

Don't ever be afraid to try to make things better, you might be surprised at the results.

Don't ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Don't ever feel threatened by the future. Take life one day at a time.

Don't ever feel guilty about the past. What's done is done. Learn from any mistakes you might have made.

Don't ever feel that you are alone. There is always somebody there for you to reach out to.

Don't ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. Imagine that! It's not as hard as it seems.

Don't ever stop loving.

Don't ever stop believing.

Don't ever stop dreaming your dreams.

By: Unknown

God

"God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities."

"God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe."

Don't Wait

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self- confident and more and more successful."

Mark Victor Hansen

God Made YOU For A Reason!

Poem by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.

You're part of an intricate plan.

You're a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.

Our God made NO mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,

And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,

You've been formed by the Master's rod.

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God.

We CAN do this!

I felt the need to create a blog for the sole purpose of posting inspirational things. So much of the time we get stuck in our negative minds and trying to find uplifting material online can be hit or miss...You never know what you may run across that will end up doing nothing but triggering you! This blog is going to be a safe place that you can come to get helpful advice and can be assured that you won't come across anything that might negatively affect you.

So many great people struggle daily with an eating disorder and many lose their lives. I want everyone who reads this blog to know that there is hope and that with lots of work and support we can all one day beat this demon. We are ALL worth it :)